I’m On Fire….

We saw “The Boss” on friday. He came through town and wound up at the Rose Garden (20,000 seats). I am not sure if the house was packed- some of the seats weren’t available. If one WERE to measure success by attendance Bruce is doin’ alright.

But i don’t play those games.

His band kicked ass. (E Street!)…… I have appreciated the man over the years- but never have considered myself a huge fan. Not because Bruce doesn’t deserve it. “I’m On Fire” is reason alone to love him. I just haven’t had my full blown Springsteen Moment yet.

It is not hard to believe that I wasn’t sportin’ the head gear/bandanna stuff-

I did dance in the dark…..well, not even that really. There were a few fist pumps during Born To Run……I admit.

Bruce kept swinging around on the mike stand.

He was having fun.

It was fun.

Interesting tidbits of info: 

Bruce is pretty outspoken about the current administration, even mentioning something during the show about his joy in the changing of the guardor getting those pigs outta Washington- ok, perhaps I take some liberties here- Bruce kind-o mumbles…….I cannot remember exactly what was said -something to that effect. Ahem…..

I WILL report with full certainty that he did leave out Born In the USA (which, in my estimation has been co-opted by the very people wishing to perpetuate the slime in Washington with sound bites and spin. It seems this song has not been exempt from this “special treatment”. Cut the chorus out and play it over and over again and hearts well with pride. The song is really about the woes of the working class not really too happy of an anthem…maybe this confusion/mis-interpretation be why he left it out?  eh?).

He closed with an old Irish folk song first made famous by Pete Seeger (I’ve done my research). Check out the Lyrics to this tune:

What is this land America so many travel thereI’m going now while I’m still young my darling meet me thereWish me luck my lovely I’ll send for you when I can And we’ll make our home in the American landOver there all the woman wear silk and satin to their kneesAnd children dear, the sweets, I hear, are growing on the treesGold comes rushing out the rivers straight into your handsWhen you make your home in the American LandThere’s diamonds in the sidewalk the’s gutters lined in song Dear I hear that beer flows through the faucets all night long There’s treasure for the taking, for any hard working man Who will make his home in the American LandI docked at Ellis Island in a city of light and spires She met me in the valley of red-hot steel and fireWe made the steel that built the cities with our sweat and two handsAnd we made our home in the American LandThere’s diamonds in the sidewalk the’s gutters lined in song Dear I hear that beer flows through the faucets all night long There’s treasure for the taking, for any hard working man Who will make his home in the American LandThe McNicholas, the Posalski’s, the Smiths, Zerillis, tooThe Blacks, the Irish, Italians, the Germans and the Jews Come across the water a thousand miles from home With nothin in their bellies but the fire down below They died building the railroads worked to bones and skin They died in the fields and factories names scattered in the wind They died to get here a hundred years ago they’re still dyin now The hands that built the country were always trying to keep downThere’s diamonds in the sidewalk the gutters lined in song Dear I hear that beer flows through the faucets all night long There’s treasure for the taking, for any hard working man Who will make his home in the American LandWho will make his home in the American Land Who will make his home in the American Land

  The lyrics were displayed for the masses to sing along with, so that there was no mistaking the message. I am not sure of the connections I am making here- but I have a hunch it was all very intentional.

Beautiful intention.

Incredible performance. XOXO

Mini update.

School is ready to roll.

My job situation is under control.

I am sleeping.

SO-

The house hunt is on.

I need to quiet the urge to jump into just anything. I want to love the spot i wind up in. It is possible! I’ll keep ya’ll posted

****We shall see******

At the Coast.

The Ocean is Scary.

I have been around. I have seen some stuff. Some really beautiful stuff. Awe inspiring stuff. After seeing and experiencing all the aforementioned BEAUTY (n’ stuff)- I can still declare that the pinkie region of Michigan- (all those blues and greens and dunes) tops my favorite spot in the world list.Even now as i sit writing this i am really dreaming of the days i’ll be spending at Empire Beach this august.

DAYS.

Lake Michigan is what I know.There is a sense of safety in fresh water. Aside from a few toothy fish (and i have never heard of someone being bitten or even nibbled on) swimmers don’t have to worry about losing limbs or toxic stings. Every time I visit the ocean I try really hard to enjoy the experience- and i do. I get in there. And for the most part it is lovely. It is just that there is this nagging sort of haunting idea that likes to kind-o creep around in my mind. No matter how hard I try- the first slimy thing that touches my foot-

I am out.

Yesterday Ewan had his first ocean experience. He is a little scientist in the making. I see this tendency in him. Mostly in his hunger to KNOW STUFF. Sure all kids want to know stuff- but it is the TYPE of inquiry-

you are just gonna have to believe me. The kid needs answers.

All the time.

I am exhausted…………

It really was fun. We like rocks and the coast of the PNW is rocky and dramatic. Aaron was there. Gary was too.

We stopped at the Aquarium in Seaside. There was a tank of starfish, sea cucumber and anemone that the public could handle. We avoided the sea cucumber- he was under the weather and the kid acting as the weird sea creature expert told us that when stressed the sea cucumber will eject his organs,-the creature will literally puke its guts out……the guts, it turns out are toxic.

The kid told us stories about coming into contact with the organs a while back and he explained how the contact had numbed his hand for three days.

ok.

Some observations/issues: 

#1. I am not exactly quite sure WHY the public is allowed to handle the sea cucumber….#2. This confirms my feelings on the ocean——– it is scary……..#3. After our introduction to the sea cucumber the sea kid proceeded to tell me how he was so numb from the toxic organs that when his friend “stabbed” him in the hand he had no clue. Hmmmmm….. I asked the kid if he wound up at the hospital. I eyeballed his hand and as he noticed me looking for any trace of the “stabbing”- he rubbed the invisible wound, telling me how it had healed- “really well”- and that “no” he hadn’t gone to the doctor.

….ok……..huh.

You can see why I am suspicious. (Sea kid is probably lying…..OR …..the f-ed up story he offers to the masses is true……….- either possibility is strange and uncomfortable).

A very mysterious day at sea.

“I DRINK IT UP!”

  Gettin’ all geared up to learn some stuff I headed downtown to the campus of PSU. I am ready to go- all is official and legit-

I am a student again…..

for life it now seems.

Paper work and money handling and 5,000,000 phone calls- that has been my day.

———Has anybody else seen “There Will Be Blood”?

We saw it last night and I was totally mesmerized with the performance of Daniel Day Lewis…….HOLY CRAP.

He is so good.

His complete embodiment of Daniel Plainview- the walk, the voice- the subtle bits and pieces of what makes up this character (that is all you are given for the majority of the film) and the cradled cruelty- which when unleashed still leaves the man oddly sympathetic (if just a little)-

well,

all of this creates quite the experience.

I wont give anymore details because it is your right to see this flick w/o outside influence. (GO SEE IT).

When you do-

let’s talk. 

Sisterhood.

  We all know i am employed- BUT there is this place I have been in love with since my last visit to Portland back in August. This place just happens to be hiring. I am making a stop today..we will see how it goes. I am just settling into the “other” spot, so jumping ship would be a drag- but the sacrifice might just be worth it. hmmmmm…..*****************************************************************   

   Other news n’ stuff:  

 My brother Shaun and I were talking last night and he mentioned that he had been reading this blog and that he thought it was “alright”.

“Alright.”

My dear, sweet brother was telling me, in his own special “way” that he wasn’t entertained

humph….

“what about that donut place ?” , he asked…… 

Basically the man is lookin’ for stories, for something he can relate to. Clearly- I can see that I have been letting Shaun down. The truth of the matter is that eventually you just cannot (or don’t want to) run around like an animal anymore…. This is the stuff Shaun wants to hear about- craziness and donuts. 

The last time I tried the crazy part- it didn’t go so well.  

You see a few months ago, one very long night in Vegas I was driven to drink copious amounts of champagne and white wine-

it was free

AND we were in the Hugh Hefner suite a the top of the Palms….. 

(there was a revolving bed- ok? Drunkenness seemed justified). 

This craziness led into the evening and by the time we had seen the Blue Man Group perform- well, you could say in all fairness, that I was hammered.

After the show-(long story short)- I managed to use my special drunk-girl skills to engage these guys and I made one of the Blue Men talk to me….. he broke his solemn Blue Man vow- …. 

Miraculously I happened to have blue paint across my face by the time the encounter was over.

-Blue faced, I wound up walking through the Venitian – and in the Piazza (which was supposed to be a replica of Piazza San Marco in Venice- a shitty one at that!) I snapped.- The fabrication and the consumption and the weirdness of Vegas was too much for a gal in such a “fragile” state. Tears and tragedy……walkin’ the Vegas strip.

Not my finest moment.

eh? It was my Vegas “experience”.

These sort of shenanigans cost way too much. 1 day of indulgence = 1 good story(maybe), 1 day of pain(definitely), a heaping spoonful of what the @#$!^%*!!?? Anyhow, my point is Shaun, even when there is every reason to dive in -the pool is too shallow for your sis. ouch. I am sorry if all of this is killin’ you slow. You are just gonna have to deal.

I’ll go back to the donut spot……..  

or to this place

or make a stop to see some of this.

This is my beloved bother (and my soon to be sista in law)……*

Yep- it is like that.

He is #4 of six children (I am #2). And he is a freak.

And I miss him.

xo. 

Transcriptions…….

Whadaya know about Athanasius Kircher?

     Oh the Internet!!!! The many roads one may happen upon in the vast world of the network. It is deep. Really deep. 

   The physical world is growing smaller, in the sense that we humans are becoming linked- culturally, socially, economically- and just when one might become discouraged with all of this homogeny- well, there is the internet to consider.

    What does all of this available information mean to the human race? 

  As I am assessing my own life in a new and interesting way these days I have been faced with the fact that I have spent the last 15 years in the restaurant deal- learning valuable lessons sure- but what the HELL do I really know.  What value is there in knowing something anyhoo? What does it mean!!!??? 

      So back to the internet….

 In a search for more info on Charles the I, the English King beheaded in 1649

during

or between

or betwixt one of the English Civil Wars- I stumbled upon his death mask (which by the way, not to be morbid, when I do pass into the unknown-i want a death mask, they are really, er- ummm, “beautiful”, look at Abe).

   Newly entranced by the death mask collections of the world I continued my search and soon found myself perusing a website devoted to the inspiration given to we peasants by an Athanasius Kircher.  Kircher was a Jesuit scholar, known for his intellectual daring: he reportedly climbed into an active volcano -to see what it was like; pioneered the musical transcription of bird vocalizations; and magneticism well that really got him goin’.

   I am wholly intrigued with this guy- whom I had heard of before but really knew nothing about.   The Athanasius Kircher Society’s website: “The Athanasius Kircher Society was chartered to perpetuate the spirit and sensibilities of the late Athanasius Kircher, SJ. Our interests extend to the wondrous, the curious, the singular, the esoteric, and the sometimes hazy frontier between the plausible and the implausible —anything that Father Kircher might find inspiring if he were alive today”.  

 I LOVE THESE PEOPLE!!!!

  ”the hazy frontier between the plausible and the implausible”…… This translates, as you will see, in many a wonderful way- check it out- http://www.kirchersociety.org/blog/

   So- it seems something has been revealed to me….. – the frontiers of existence seem to be taking shape in a really interesting sort-of Kircher-esque-ish fashion…….the eventual homogeny of the physical world does not mean the death of discovery. Look back, look forward, look around (hey-look on the internet!!!) it can all be new again……….YAY!                   

Cleve Jones

   In between all of the job hunting, freaking out, schedule molding, ewok villaging and garyness I have managed to participate in some very, very enlightening/inspiring stuff (of which has allowed me to calm the hell down- I moved here for a dang reason right!!!???). I can thank my fellow-former Michigander RRRRRRRRickie, aka. rico, aka. “THE” Gould for keeping me posted on his comings and goings, which has allowed me to tag along.  

 Cleve Jones happened to be speaking at Lewis and Clark College and Rick and I happened to attend. For those of you who do not know of this man (i didn’t) he is the guy behind the AIDS quilt .    Cleve Jones told the tale of his journey both personal and political.

In the early 80s AIDS was poorly understood with deep negative stigma attached to it, crippling communities with fear. For years he had been watching his friends die deaths that the public had deemed shameful. *******Fear tends to infiltrate in terribly distorting ways masking compassion…….we see this phenomenon all the time-right?**********well Cleve was not going to allow for this stuff to erase the memories of the good people he knew and loved- his friends, who were sons and daughter and brothers and moms and sisters……..   He created the first AIDS quilt panel in honor of his friend Marvin Feldman. Since then the AIDS quilt has become the world’s largest community arts project commemorating the lives of over 85,000 people.   

   Cleve spoke of how the shame, the stigma, all the assumptions on sexuality and who was/is to blame, the hatred and the fear was being transformed and as the project drew the humanity out of people, those ready to wag the finger weren’t important anymore….. no, that stuff fell away and it was the names and stories and love that spilled out and over across the lawn of the white house.

A powerful story. 

*****Thanks Cleve.********

On sleep- and not getting any.

I just pulled myself out of a serious state of sleeplessness. I was suffering from insomnia for a week +.   I’d travel from Aaron’s bed, downstairs to the guest bedroom, then to the couch, back to the guest bed. This cycle was madness and i was starting to lose it. Self perpetuating b.s.  Seeking out advice on the internet sometimes works and so i gave it a go. Note to all: When the 3rd day of 3 hours sleep rolls around do not,*** i repeat***- DO NOT try self diagnosis-!!!!……..First of all – you are teetering on the edge to begin with……..words like “disorder” are noticed, add a dash of itchy skin and then throw the DSM IV into the mix and suddenly you’re wondering what it is like to never sleep again? how long would you last? maybe i have a lesion on my brain (this one came directly off of a medical website in reference to Circadian Rhythm Disorder- Do me a favor, DON’T LOOK IT UP)?  okay?please? You can thank me later.    ****one site made the claim, “A lack of quality sleep may lead to love handles and double chins”.This is no joke. ******************************************So,  I tried sleeping pills(suc), natural remedies(melatonin), Icalled my mom and cried,  I read some books. I listened to the birds chirp.  And in the end I quit freaking myself out and put a face on the friggin thing.      Conclusion?   ummmmm- I guess I did just move across the country.    My body was making me recognize this fact via the insomnia- whether i wanted to or not. eh?”"”"”shrug”"”"”. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….From  From the other side of the sleep spectrum:    One of the best movies I have seen in a while (well, since the Darjeeling Limited)-”The Science of Sleep”-  very dreamy. very great. gael. clouds. cellophane streams.